The past year after 40 years or more, I have learned that it is ok to say no. For years, without even realizing it, I was a people pleaser. I could not, would not say no or at least ‘let me think about it’ when someone would ask me to do something. I did this all the while resenting the person for a choice I made. This habit repeated itself over and over in my life. Sometimes a different person but most times the same. I guess they figured if I wanted to be a doormat, I should be their doormat. Who can blame them really? They got from me the things they wouldn’t do themselves and free. They cared less if I was resentful. It didn’t affect them. You see, there are those people that always look for others to do their bidding. Selfish? Absolutely. Smart? Well, I guess that depends on who you ask.
The word ‘no’ is simple for most, but not for me. I mean omg, they might get upset with me so ‘no’ was not in my vocabulary. Always yes and always resentful.
I have come to learn that it is ok to think about a question first and voice that when asked. What is not ok is to say yes to things you really don’t want to do just so no one is mad or upset. All, but me that is. So, now instead of saying yes with no thought first, I say, ‘let me think about it’. Even if I know I will do whatever is asked, I give myself time to think, to digest, to check the calender for goodness sake before saying yes. Do I always do this? No, bad habits are hard to break, but I am working on it.
Guess what? Things are better for me. Less stress, less resentment, and more loving me.
When God Speaks 
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