The time I spend thinking about the past and the future are pretty much tied. I know this is not a good thing, at least not how I go about it which is with regret at times of the past and fear of the future. At times, it is obsessive. So much time spent in yesterday or spent worrying over things that may or may not happen tomorrow that the present (today) is completely lost. The sad thing is that today is where any joy might occur and I lose this time obsessing over events completely out of my control.
Yes, I know this is not good and I also know I cannot do anything about either the past or the future. So, why do I do this? Good question. With the past and regrets, I beat myself up. I have apologized to those I may have hurt and bent over backwards trying to repair the oops mainly like trying to buy them back in my favor. All to no avail. This never works and truthfully it usually makes things worse on all involved including myself. I end up in debt and still no forgiveness is extended.
The future thinking time-line leaves me full of fear. Scared to make a move of any kind I stay afraid. I guess the past mistakes keep me thinking that the future will turn out the same way. Bad thinking or as some say stinking thinking.
What I lose in all this is today. Right now. The present and these places are exactly where joy and peace come from. I can only enjoy what is right in front of me. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn’t promised. So, today is the place where I make choices as to what emotions I experience. If I look with eyes of hope I will see hope. If I look with eyes of peace I will see peace. If I look with eyes of beauty I will see beauty. You get the picture, right? It is all in my perspective. How I view my today.
This balancing act I juggle gets tiring, gets old, gets to be way too much for any person to deal with. So, going forward I will make a decision to stay in the moment, stay in today. The hope and beauty I desire are right in front of me. I may have to reel myself up or back for awhile but as I take each moment of today and perceive the moment with renewed strength and hope I can balance the scales and leave the past in the past and the future in the future and enjoy today.
When God Speaks 
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