There are so many lessons I wish I had learned earlier in life, but the one I try to remember and do is living by the motto, ‘No Regrets’. These words I stole from my husband. This is trying at times to say the least, but if not done my life would be a wreck. The guilt, the anger, the sadness and more would send me into a depression that I may not come out of. A black hole, if you will, that has no bottom.
Please don’t get me wrong by thinking I live life selfishly, only thinking of myself because I don’t. I have more than enough mistakes and hurdles to overcome than most. But, what I must do is remember that I can do nothing to change the past. This is not to be taken as a free pass to do whatever I want while thinking I can simply tell myself and others afterwards, ‘Hey, sorry but I can’t change the past so just get over it and let’s move on’. No, that would be premeditated personal justification and so so wrong. However, with the right mind set and true repentance I must take hold of the motto, ‘No regrets’ and strive to be better.
My list of lessons wished for at an earlier time is quite simple. There is only one, but that one encompasses everything. That lesson is that I had listened and adhered to the wisdom of those older than myself, such as my parents. My parents were far from perfect and the examples set were not ones to follow, but the words they gave me were exactly what I should have lived by. It is easy to discount words given to us by those not walking those words, but how I wish I had kept them close at heart.
I have wandered down paths unnecessary simply because I knew better and what heartaches these paths have brought me. Some will never be made right. So, I carry a sadness inside where tears flow quite heavily when no one is looking. A heaviness that can seem to suffocate a person at times and if I stay there long the darkness will consume me. I must move on.
When God Speaks 
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