When God Speaks

Enabler is defined as someone or something that makes something possible. The term ‘bad enabler’ is defined as a person who encourages negative or self destructive behavior in another. This is the one discussed today, the bad enabler. Most understand or believe an enabler is a negative thing, but the word enabler itself  can go either way.

We think of those that enable another as someone who allows and even starts negative behavior in another for many different reasons and those are the ones this post is targeting. The truth is when an enabler enables another this is usually done for reasons such as ‘that’s my child, they have been there for me before, or that is what God told me to do’. Such nonsense. If we are allowing negative behavior in others God said nothing. This came from within. Maybe because ‘I don’t want my child to think they are alone, I helped someone that needed help, I am a mother or a father and that is what parents do – support their kids, or I gave something to another as the Bible teaches so how is that bad?’ We can make our actions look noble, but truthfully only the enabler sees it as noble and if really pondered then even the enabler would see it for what it is, selfishness.

There are times in life, many more than not, that our actions hurt another more rather than help them. Maybe we don’t want to feel as though we are bad people so we enable, then justify or we  throw money out there instead of taking the time to show support the right way because you know, time is valuable and I need more. I say these things because I have done both and honestly, I knew better, but my reasons were many and all selfish. These actions do come with a cost eventually.  You see, we are not meant to fix a person or coddle a person. All this does is stunt their growth or worse, you become their god. Our answer for these situations should be, ‘I can’t, but I know a Man’. Then, lead them to Him. What usually happens, however, is we play god and this always has repercussions, both for the enabler and the enabled.

Let me say this though, there are times we are meant to reach out to another, but if so feelings of guilt will never be a symptom. Usually, we may not even want to help thus comes a choice of obedience or disobedience.  By all means, obey. Another way to decide if this is for you is do whatever anonymously. If you cannot do it anonymously, it is not God leading. God gets the glory then, not you. Try it, you will see but really you already know deep inside, right?

We should never enable another in negative ways. No good can come from it. You are actually hindering that person, and the only thing being helped is your pride shouting, ‘Look at me. Look what I did. Am I not the s____?’ That look is not becoming on anyone and the enabled will usually despise your actions in the future.

So, next time you see a way to help, make sure you are the one to help, check your motives, ask God, and if you are the one, do it anonymously and keep it that way. Any other way is you building yourself up.