When God Speaks

Today was different. As I rose from my bed demanding time stand still for a moment longer, the demand goes unheeded and I’m all out of luck. A voice comes through that I know as revelation, but the voices in my head drown out his words.

I whisper softly ‘No fear, no fear’. Yet, as suddenly as these words are spoken, I sense fears presence hovering near. Ready to attack. Ready to conquer. Ready to consume me. ‘I will not allow you space in my mind, fear. So, kindly please just move along’. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that fear pays no mind to my hollow wishes. Fear’s one track mind never deviates from it’s course. Still, I must find a way to stop fear in it’s evil tracks. So, begins the dance.

As insecurity rises it seems as if I’ve already lost, but this is the day things must change. With my mind racing back and forth grasping at things half-heartedly, I search for the answer. I see blackness on the horizon and my hopes sink deeper, but I won’t stop searching. With everything in me I will fight to the end. I’m determined to win at all costs.

My thoughts go back to yesteryear. I begin relieving moments of battles, battles with fear. Here I am at 7 years old, alone and crying with no one to help. Fear comes near dressed as a friend and I fall for fears lies for the very first time. Needless to say, that battle I lost. We meet again several years later. How I didn’t recognize this evil presence I may never understand, but then again age 10 has little experience to show to fear. Dressed differently now while using comforting words, this ten year old girl gets caught up in fears spell. And so we dance.

As time moves along and this girl holds on, once again fear will make it’s grand entrance. With little self confidence and clocked in fear is it any wonder a new dance emerges? A teenager now navigating a world scary and unknown, this girl once again faces her nemesis fear. Hazy memories and shut out emotions leave only a ticket to a one way street. Hopelessness sets in and the dance begins.

Time flies by and while I’m distracted here comes fear clothed in full vengeance. I turn to look and begin to comply for all my life fear has held the upper hand. The music begins playing as fear extends his hand welcoming me to join him in the dance.

A flash of light pierces the sky and suddenly fears voice takes a backseat. Revelation emerges ready for war and instantly I’m filled with knowledge and fight. Second place no longer becomes an option as rage so huge rises from within. I will not live in fears shadow anymore believing lies spewed from his ugly mouth. Understanding springs forth while wisdom goes to bat to conquer fear once and for all.

A dance with fear will no longer take place as I emerge from the ashes that fear has created. I watch as fear succumbs to death while I finally realize dancing with fear is a time of the past.