When God Speaks

Daily writing prompt

What’s a chapter of your life you’d title "The Hard Years" — and what got you through it?

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The hardest years of my life I am experiencing now. It ain’t over by a long shot but they have definitely begun. They started February 7 of this year when my husband passed suddenly. I never knew life could be so hard without him, but it is.

Having to learn to navigate life by myself is something entirely new to me and not something I would wish on anyone. People say you learn things about yourself that you never knew and while this may be true it doesn’t make things better. People say God will never give you more than you can bear and this I know is true but it doesn’t make things easier or better.

People say you will get through this and yes I know I will, God willing, but again it doesn’t make you excited or happy. People say you are stronger than you think. Well that is yet to be proven. People say God sometimes has to take something from you that you placed above Him. I cannot go with that one. God is loving, not cruel. He doesn’t have to do that to make me see what I’ve done. I already knew that. People say God takes things from us so we depend more on Him. Again, I cannot accept that either because God doesn’t hurt me so I depend on Him more. He gave me free will and knowledge of my need for Him without doing that.

All this and more people say….

All these things people say to make you feel better yet they don’t. Sometimes folks just need to stay quiet and just sit with you, cry with you, hold your hand and quit trying to make the hardest time of your life better by inserting words that can’t possibly help you. Especially when they have not walked this path because only walking this path can bring glimpses of understanding but my shoes are different than others so my pain is different.

People mean well I know but just say nothing and sit with me. The tears I know bother some, but healing cannot take place without shedding them. So, just sit with me in the quiet. Words cannot help this situation so don’t speak, just sit. That means more to me than anything and shows that you do understand that my pain is deep yet realizing that it cannot be understood and must be walked through.