When God Speaks

To pick the year I would relive if possible is impossible. There are so many great years behind me. Each and every one mean something special and different.

So, instead of choosing one of the great ones, I would choose the year that hurt me and so many others the most. That year I would ask to re-live. Why? Because hindsight is 20/20 and knowing what my decision brought forth, I can now make the  better decision.

You see, most times in our decision making we choose what is easiest for us, what will bring us the most pleasure now. That could be the very thing you will regret. Yet, without thinking about it, we race to the choice that looks fun and feels good to the flesh. Our flesh.

The year I would relive if possible would be 1993.  That year turned out to be the catalyst for what would alter my life in so many negative aspects. That year, 1993, changed everything.

I was a stay at home Mom. A bored stay at home Mom. The life I had dreamt of felt hollow and empty. Being so young and restless with no understanding of life, I wanted action – at least a little. The everyday boring things that come along with age and living in a town with no excitement made me begin to search for something more. How I wish I had chosen differently.

Well, I received action and a lot of it. In order to not feel the pain of my choice I self medicated daily. When those thoughts would try to rear their ugly heads I self medicated more. A vicious cycle had begun. A roller-coaster ride from hell that would affect the rest of my life and a few others lives as well.

I’m not going to elaborate on the things that occurred in 1993. However, I will say that all decisions need be carefully weighed before making and life will be both fun and boring at times so just let life unfold without adding ingredients you might later regret. Remember, it shouldn’t be all about you.