When God Speaks

I so want something to touch, to smell, to remember you by. Just a remnant of the life we shared but there is none. Only the memories stored deep within. The photos taken through the years bring both smiles and tears. Smiles because I remember and long to be in that place once again. Tears because I remember and know that will never be again.

Silly things like a hair brush, a jacket, a baseball cap and others no longer carry your scent. Remnants I held onto hoping to keep a piece of you with me but that is not the case.

Writings in books from you and cards you gave me I grasped and hoped to fill a void deep within but that hole cannot be filled with inanimate objects such as these.

All I have left of you are the ashes in the urn and though I keep them beside my bed they bring little comfort.

All I wanted was a remnant of you. A small part left over after you were gone but there is no remnant left.

My memories of our life together are all I have. I keep them guarded and locked away in my heart and mind. I can’t allow them to get away so I guard them carefully and only bring them out when I am alone and can remember those times with both laughter and tears. But, what if I forget? The thought of that sends fear racing through me. Then a quiet peace settles over me. There is no way I will forget the love we shared.

So, I will keep the memories of you in my heart and bring them out from time to time and know that these memories are the only remnant I have of you. I must go on into the future leaving yesterday where it should be – in my heart. I know that is what you would want.